just above water
instant of doubt
summons the hounds
with friendly fire
you keep me
just above water
~ by yearzerowriters on June 11, 2010.
Posted in Poetry
The horrors is terrifying. It’s freezing, bleached blank
danholloway said this on June 11, 2010 at 9:20 am | Reply
Absolutely perfectly bloody marvellous. I want MORE of these.
Penny Goring said this on June 11, 2010 at 10:03 am | Reply
I don’t even have words for the first one, but I love it. I love the second one too, the way those last words stand on their own lines. It’s like the words themselves are being put under, sinking.
Sarah E. Melville said this on June 11, 2010 at 10:07 am | Reply
I should point out that we actually had teh old style wording at our marriage just because we wanted the word “assunder” in it.
danholloway said this on June 11, 2010 at 10:11 am | Reply
Thanks very much folks. Really chuffed with your reactions.
I’m glad you responded that way to “i have the horrors” Dan; that one, as you probably guessed, is autobiographical and deals with something that happened last Christmas Eve. I felt frozen solid by it.
The second isn’t autobiographical – it was whittled down from an initial version well over a page of A4 in length with far, far too many redundant words in it! Glad you like the “put asunder/put us under” pun.
Stuart said this on June 11, 2010 at 5:46 pm | Reply
You know what? These are fucking gorgeous.
Daisy Anne said this on June 11, 2010 at 6:14 pm | Reply
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